Darwin Deez

Last night we partied hard, Travelodge style. The guy at the front desk warned us that they allow a maximum of six people in any room, as our group stood giggling, clutching a case of Stella Artois. Somehow, one of us convinced him to let us pass. All of the members of TEED, RAM’S Pocket Radio, and Darwin Deez piled in, and merriness ensued. Lots of atrocious freestyle rapping. There were 12 of us, and the air of our tiny room smelled thick and rank. Somebody shaved tram lines along the side of our normally reserved tour manager’s head. Orlando from TEED shaved a heart in my chest hair.

Zara from TEED taught us some of their dances. She says that she and Nina steal most of what they do from Ry Ry, Salt N Pepa, and MC Hammer.

Last night, a girl in Norwich in the front row took off her skirt and gave it to me during the show. I wore it during The City. Afterwards, the fans out front excitedly explained to us that Norwich is where Kettle Chips are made.

Post-Leeds-show, I did a jacket trade with a redhaired girl. My white, turquoise, neon pink jacket for her gold geometry jacket. She says she’s coming to Koko in London, too. I hope she doesn’t regret her trade, because I’m feeling quite satisfied with my end of it.

In Glasgow, I asked Darwin how I could make my raps better. He said that I should work on my rap voice, and suggested a high robot monotone. Darwin also said I should try standing completely still, with my head turned sideways and the microphone cord wrapped around my arm. So now I have this new rap persona. I wonder if it’s any better. I’m still waiting for footage of it to turn up. Live footage on YouTube is like game tape for our band. We watch it like a football team and figure out which parts of our set need a little TLC.

The band has been confirmed at Glastonbury! Glastonbury with Beyonce! The best part is, I’ve been working on convincing my dad to conquer his fear of flying so that my parents can finally travel overseas and see our band play for the first time. At Glastonbury, no less. I think it’s going to be very special.